Stupidfuture: Obscure Sci-Fi Parodies

Those who fear the future are largely afraid to laugh at it….

Cash For Clunkers: Knight Rider

Posted by stupidfuture on November 7, 2009

sf31_cashforclunkers

American V8 Muscle Car with Onboard AI Provides Generous Tax Incentive

Michael Knight, A Shadowy Figure on a Lone Crusade to buy a new car.  What with those crazy gas prices last year, he probably can’t afford to drive a V8 gas-guzzler…enter the government’s Cash For Clunkers program.  You can trade in your ancient petro-gulping behemouth of a TransAm for some inconsequential little conveyance like a Cooper Mini or Honda Civic Hybrid.  The leather jacket might be a bit of a stretch, then, Mr. Knight.  And please button up your pink shirt just a few more buttons…I can’t stand the sight of all that greying chest hair in that perpetual sunset you always seem to be driving around in.  And if you see those Dukes of Hazzard boys with that bright orange monstrosity of theirs, the General Lee, please send it our way.

BTW, in case you hadn’t noticed, they’re re-making Knight Rider again.  This time it’s supposed to be Michael Knight’s son.  Last time, it was “Team Knight Rider”, with five different AI vehicles, and before that, “Knight Rider 2000”.  You just aren’t going to capture the success of the original show.  And most cars have computers in them now anyways, it’s not such a big deal anymore.  (Still no video-capable wrist watches, though, I’ll give Glenn Larson that much.) It’s the Knight Industries Three Thousand this time, which sounds cool except that KR2K used the Knight Industries Four Thousand.  But “KIFT” sounds dorky, and reminds us of Amy’s boyfriend from Futurama.  No one ever listens to me about how to make a proper sequel, but here goes: resurrect KITT’s twice-kilt brother KARR (the Knight Automated Roving Robot), and let George Takai drive it.  Nuff said.

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4 Responses to “Cash For Clunkers: Knight Rider”

  1. Hilarious!!! Though, I can’t see Michael Knight driving around in a Prius or a tiny Smart Car, with only the GPS to talk to him. Unless maybe it’s the GPS with Mr T’s voice, that would seem appropriate (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHqnurRfIQw). Or maybe Mr. Knight can find one of those Galactica 1980 flying motorcycles, though not sure how environmentally friendly they are.

    BTW, I just read something about them remaking Battlestar Galactica AGAIN (AGAIN!!!)… this time a Bryan Singer-directed, Glenn Larson-produced “complete remake” of the original series, having nothing to do with the recent BSG on syfy…

  2. Jon Clarke said

    Your such a tard…I can’t believe I stumbled into this site and made the mistake of reading your trash talk. Perhaps you should try watching the show you are trying to bash…

    • Oh, hey, man, don’t get us wrong, we love this stuff, we’re not haters. In fact, the most disappointing this about the Knight Rider DVDs was that they used Macrovision copy protection and everything looks soooooooo blurry. I grew up watching Michael, Devon, Bonnie/April, and KITT and have fond memories of thinking that a Pontiac TransAm would solve all my problems in life, whether it could talk or not. Fact is, I probably watched too much Knight Rider. If I wanted to make fun of something Hasselhoff-related, I’da picked Baywatch. Anyway, thanks for stopping by, even if it wasn’t your thing. Please bear in mind that’s it’s only comedy, and it does have a warning label. It’s a way to celebrate, interact with, and mash-up characters we know and love. And, of course, thing about how our assumptions have changed in the last 25+ years. If it wasn’t a labor of love, it’d be about math or something.

      Cheers, Raven@daStupidzFooturez

  3. bromegared said

    In the pilot episode, Edware Mulhare mentions that KITT is “100% fuel efficient”. FYI.

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