Stupidfuture: Obscure Sci-Fi Parodies

Those who fear the future are largely afraid to laugh at it….

Amazing Apps and Accessories for the New Apple Tablet

Posted by gregchiaramonti on January 27, 2010

Amazing apps and accessories for the new Apple Tablet

Capillary dilation or the so-called blush response… fluctuation of the pupil, involuntary dilation of the iris…. Um… Do you like our owl? Sorry, somehow all of the anticipation for the new Apple Tablet (or iPad, or iSlate, or Canvas, or Electronic Messiah) has put me in a Blade Runner mood. Just thought it would be cool if the new tablet has a Voight-Kampff app so you could detect Replicants on-the-go. You’d still need the retro bellows as an accessory (think it has something to do with detecting pheromones of an emotional response), but it’s a lot more portable than that CRT monitor setup Deckard has to usually lug around. Oh, wait… Replicants haven’t been invented yet, right.

Still, the tablet is gonna rock… whatever it does. I mean, I’m a big-time Apple fanboy, but even I’ve been worn out from all the hype and speculation about this thing. Please, Steve, let it go… release it to us… we are ready to finally have this futuristic sci-fi device that we always see in every sci-fi movie ever made. I know, there are other tablet computers announced by other companies, and the Kindle is a specialized book-reading tablet, but Mr. Jobs always seems to have an eye for details other designers miss, just a knack for innovation that takes things to the next level. Yeah, I know, I’m a hopeless Apple fanboy…

– Nigel Matrix

27 Responses to “Amazing Apps and Accessories for the New Apple Tablet”

  1. Eduardo said

  2. I wish they would have picked a better name then iPad! But im still getting it.

    • Yeah, I kinda liked “Apple Canvas”, and thought that was where they were going with all of the splattered paint graphics on the invitation for the announcement today, but I guess they felt it may have focused too much on appealing to artists/designers. Apple iPad probably makes sense, since it goes with iPod and iPhone and is just sort of simple and straightforward about what it is. iSlate probably sounds a little too menacing, like some kind of weapon.

  3. prak said

    Oh, thanks a lot. Now I want to buy an Apple Replicant.

  4. […] Amazing Apps and Accessories for the New Apple Tablet Capillary dilation or the so-called blush response… fluctuation of the pupil, involuntary dilation of the […] […]

  5. Not sure where one will carry the IPad

    • Maybe in an iBag?

      Or maybe really oversized, baggy cargo pants will come back in style, with a huge pocket on the side of the leg. An iPocket.

      Or… a pouch sewn on the front of a pullover jacket or hoodie. An iPouch… yeah, I’m going with that one.

  6. QuiTamTeam said

    imop doesn’t sound so bad. . .

  7. Noo! Im using my iphone and I cant seem to be able to open the page right. I will be back to read this tonight when I get home from lecture. The topic seems like something I must read.

  8. unibet said

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  9. Lots of of bloggers aren’t very happy with the new iPad.There was just too much hype regarding it and alot blogers got disapointed.Thing is, I can actually see great deal of the awesome potential uses of this device. Third-party applications for making music, games, papers and magazines and FFS books, all kinds of neat stuff, but IMHO they just didn’t really sell it properly (excluding the books). It looks kind of incomplete

    • It actually will have all of those apps you mention… it will run most of the apps that the iPhone/iPod Touch do now, plus new ones will be customized for the larger screen. That will be over a hundred-forty-thousand apps to start out. I think they focused on the book aspect since that was the new function that will be offered, plus they spent a lot of time working that out with major publishers to get the content, etc. They did mention a few games that will be customized for it at the start, plus more will be ready in two months when the iPad is available to buy. And I heard that they are also working with magazine/newspaper publishers to get custom content for the iBook store, too… probably didn’t nail down those deals yet (except for Time and the NYT). I think it will be a cool device… there’s a good video at that explains a lot of this and shows it in action.

  10. teeth whitening said

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    • Yes, it really is vital, thanks for noticing. Hoverboards are due in Hill Valley, CA in 2015 and if we don’t deliver, Biff Tannen will marry Lorraine McFly. Then where will Huey Lewis be?


  11. I’ve loved Apple products for some time, they produce gadgets that is visually beautiful while working like a charm. I can’t say that about alot of companies, it’s typically one or the other. Companies don’t usually take aesthetics seriously like Apple. With me stating that I’ve got to say that I’m very excited about the new Tablet. One thing I question though, is it too soon? I think that this may be ahead of its time. What do you think?

    • I agree about the aesthetics/functionality balance that Apple achieves. I do think that Steve Jobs would probably have liked to wait at least another year or two to put out the tablet, probably at least until all of the deals with content providers (book/magazine publishers, game companies) were nailed down. But I think the timing had to be now, because of the Kindle being out there and continuing to evolve, and also other PC makers are starting to put out tablets. But I still think the iPad will be a hit – maybe a gradual thing over the next couple years, not as instant as the iPhone.

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  13. Excellent blog entry.

    What’s your take of the Apple Tablet?

    I tell ya, I was disappointed this thing could have been awesome instead they settled for a cheap device.

    Apple Tablet

    • Thanks Kurtis,

      I guess I have to wait and see it for myself. I think it will be cool, and features will be added over time (camera, multi-tasking, etc.). I think they had to get it out at this time for marketing reasons (so much hype had built up, plus PC tablets coming out), but I think it will be appealing for people who don’t want an all-purpose computer tablet (which we’ve had already for years and aren’t popular), but something more content/app-driven, like the iPod Touch and iPhone. I’m interested to see how it evolves. Remember what the first iPod was like, compared to what they make now?

  14. Sidney E. products said

    I have a giant gag reflex and so as soon as i place on the strips to white my teeth i gag and they do not settle on my teeth. any options about what exactly i may use without spending plenty for the dentist? thanks

  15. Gilberte Algarin said

    How white will my teeth get after one treatment?

    • I’m not sure that’s actually an option that the iPad offers at this time. I’m sure that 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend a different option until the studies come back showing that the concept is safe and valid.

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