Stupidfuture: Obscure Sci-Fi Parodies

Those who fear the future are largely afraid to laugh at it….

Posts Tagged ‘80s Movies’

Amazing Apps and Accessories for the New Apple Tablet

Posted by gregchiaramonti on January 27, 2010

Amazing apps and accessories for the new Apple Tablet

Capillary dilation or the so-called blush response… fluctuation of the pupil, involuntary dilation of the iris…. Um… Do you like our owl? Sorry, somehow all of the anticipation for the new Apple Tablet (or iPad, or iSlate, or Canvas, or Electronic Messiah) has put me in a Blade Runner mood. Just thought it would be cool if the new tablet has a Voight-Kampff app so you could detect Replicants on-the-go. You’d still need the retro bellows as an accessory (think it has something to do with detecting pheromones of an emotional response), but it’s a lot more portable than that CRT monitor setup Deckard has to usually lug around. Oh, wait… Replicants haven’t been invented yet, right.

Still, the tablet is gonna rock… whatever it does. I mean, I’m a big-time Apple fanboy, but even I’ve been worn out from all the hype and speculation about this thing. Please, Steve, let it go… release it to us… we are ready to finally have this futuristic sci-fi device that we always see in every sci-fi movie ever made. I know, there are other tablet computers announced by other companies, and the Kindle is a specialized book-reading tablet, but Mr. Jobs always seems to have an eye for details other designers miss, just a knack for innovation that takes things to the next level. Yeah, I know, I’m a hopeless Apple fanboy…

– Nigel Matrix

Advertisements

Posted in Apple Tablet Hype, Blade Runner, Current/Future Events, Internet Memes, Movie Parodies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments »

2010: The Year We Add More Contacts

Posted by gregchiaramonti on December 19, 2009

2010: The Year We Add More Contacts

“Something’s going to happen… Something wonderful. Hmm, okay, whatever you say there, incorporeal Dave Bowman. You can transform Jupiter (spoilerz) into a new sun, but you can’t work your Monolith magic to whisk a relatively small starship out of harm’s way? Oh well, guess it’s one of those “higher beings/God” can’t interfere with free will or something. Unless they’re in the whole “wrath/armageddon” mode, or course…

Well, the New Year, 2010, is upon us in a couple weeks, and I was reminiscing about the film 2010: The Year We Make Contact – the Peter Hyams-directed sequel to Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. I used to love this movie back in the 80s. Closest thing to a “hard” sci-fi movie I’d ever seen at the time (hadn’t seen Blade Runner yet – don’t think that film had much popularity really until the mid-90s when it was sort of rediscovered. Plus, you could argue, that was more “cyberpunk”). Yet, 2010 was a lot more accessible (in an 80s way) than the avant-garde mind-freak of 2001 – not to say it’s anywhere near as epic or culturally important. I thought the best parts of 2010 were Dr. Chandra’s psychoanalizing of HAL9000, the Discovery’s onboard AI that basically murdered the crew in 2001.
 
I haven’t watched 2010 in many years, but it would be interesting to see how it holds up against the real year 2010. Off the top of my head, I think they had video-phones, though they were more desktop-computer or monitor-based than handheld cell-phones. I would think no mention of the Internet or the latest App to download. The Cold War was still on, and was a major plot point of the film. Plus, the film’s spaceship tech was way ahead of current capabilities, though this was also true of 2001. And in the film, there’s Artificial Intelligence (HAL) from back in 2001. All we’ve got is Wolfram Alpha and some Roombas cleaning our floors (and terrorizing our pets).

– Nigel Matrix

P.S. – Just wanted to send out a massive THANK YOU from us at stupidfuture to everyone who stopped by this year to check out our site!!! Have a great New Year, and we hope that 2010 does turn out to be “something wonderful” for you!

Posted in 2001, 2010, Current/Future Events, Movie Parodies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The new self-help fad sweeping the Galaxy.

Posted by gregchiaramonti on February 27, 2009

The new self-help fad sweeping the Galaxy: Secrets of the Glaive.

Celebrity Speaker Extolls Virtues of Arcane Weaponry As Motivational Metaphor

May the Glaive be with you. Always. You know you’ve tried to use The Force. C’mon, just admit it. Reached out your hand and focused with all of your might on lifting your toy X-Wing out of a muddy puddle in the backyard when no one was looking. The Glaive, a cross between a boomerang, shuriken and a pocket knife/switchblade, was a unique weapon wielded by Colwyn, the Errol-Flynn-meets-Luke-Skywalker King of planet Krull, using Force-like techniques to control it.

Krull, the fantasy/sci-fi movie from 1983, always seemed like one part Star Wars, one part Lord of the Rings (though, I guess back then I wouldn’t have made the LOTR reference. Maybe more like classic Robin Hood films – not the Kevin Costner/Bryan Adams chickflick). You know, Hero’s Journey/Joseph Campbell stuff. Or maybe they just copped that medieval episode from classic Galactica (the one where Starbuck teaches all of those blonde pre-Narnia kids how to storm a castle while singing a song to remember their strategy). Hey, come to think of it, The Empire Strikes Back was sort of like the Ice Planet Zero BSG episode (man, those Oliva Newton-John wannabe clones were glacier-melting hot). Not sure which came first in that case, and too lazy to Wiki it today. And that whole Firefly series was kinda like the cowboy Galactica episode (Red Eye the cylon RULED!). Hey, it’s all good – it just always made sense that EVERY sci-fi franchise should have an ice planet episode, a western-in-space episode, a medieval-in-space episode, etc. It’s just what you do.

Watching Krull again recently, I realized how all of the various situations that test Colwyn in his quest to save Princess Lyssa from the evil Beast could be translated into a self-help program encouraging positive thinking, building confidence, etc. Colwyn is just such a hyper-positive dude. In the end, when your Glaive is stuck in the flesh of the hideous Beast and you can’t get it back, you’ve got to trust in yourself. Though there’s also that special fire the Princess gave you – you know, the fire that you can shoot out of your hand. That always helps, too.

– Nigel Matrix

Posted in Krull, Movie Parodies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

A gift from the outgoing President

Posted by gregchiaramonti on February 5, 2009

A gift from the outgoing President.

They Live! A special pair of sunglasses discovered by pro wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper (essentially playing himself as a homeless man in the 1988 movie They Live by John Carpenter) allows him to see the terrifying truth behind who’s really running our government. Skull-faced aliens (hey, maybe they’re related to those Martians from Mars Attacks!) hide amongst us, disguised by a signal transmitted through our TVs. Subliminal messages permeate our media, ordering us to Obey, Consume, Marry and Reproduce – and declaring money to be our God. (Whoa… um, this is actually starting to sound, uh, real or something…).

Wouldn’t it suck to go through all that work to get to the point where you become President, hoping to do all kinds of good things for the country – end wars, fix education and healthcare, etc. – only to find out that everything is being run by skull aliens, or lizard people, or grays, or those dudes from the Hollow Earth. And now you’re on their payroll and you have to keep global warming increasing so the climate becomes more habitable for them. Or you have to keep quiet about that hybrid program (and we’re not talking about cars here…).

Time to chew some bubblegum and kick some… uh, check out the movie.

– Nigel Matrix

Posted in Current/Future Events, Movie Parodies, They Live | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »