Stupidfuture: Obscure Sci-Fi Parodies

Those who fear the future are largely afraid to laugh at it….

Posts Tagged ‘Apple’

Amazing Apps and Accessories for the New Apple Tablet

Posted by gregchiaramonti on January 27, 2010

Amazing apps and accessories for the new Apple Tablet

Capillary dilation or the so-called blush response‚Ķ fluctuation of the pupil, involuntary dilation of the iris…. Um… Do you like our owl? Sorry, somehow all of the anticipation for the new Apple Tablet (or iPad, or iSlate, or Canvas, or Electronic Messiah) has put me in a Blade Runner mood. Just thought it would be cool if the new tablet has a Voight-Kampff app so you could detect Replicants on-the-go. You’d still need the retro bellows as an accessory (think it has something to do with detecting pheromones of an emotional response), but it’s a lot more portable than that CRT monitor setup Deckard has to usually lug around. Oh, wait… Replicants haven’t been invented yet, right.

Still, the tablet is gonna rock… whatever it does. I mean, I’m a big-time Apple fanboy, but even I’ve been worn out from all the hype and speculation about this thing. Please, Steve, let it go… release it to us… we are ready to finally have this futuristic sci-fi device that we always see in every sci-fi movie ever made. I know, there are other tablet computers announced by other companies, and the Kindle is a specialized book-reading tablet, but Mr. Jobs always seems to have an eye for details other designers miss, just a knack for innovation that takes things to the next level. Yeah, I know, I’m a hopeless Apple fanboy…

– Nigel Matrix

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Posted in Apple Tablet Hype, Blade Runner, Current/Future Events, Internet Memes, Movie Parodies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments »

Cylon vs. PC

Posted by gregchiaramonti on February 22, 2009

Cylon vs. PC

I think Cylons evolved from Macs. They seem to have the whole “cool design” theme going. Plus centralized development and implementation of software and hardware that is designed to work together seamlessly. The inside of their basestars have that minimalist, modern Apple Store look. The Cylons also have built-in iTunes so they can download their favorite versions of old Jimi Hendrix tunes directly into their minds (yeah, Jimi was a Cylon, too).

Galactica and the fleet, on the other hand, are probably running on ancient Windows machines and patched-together third-party software, downloaded for free off of some seedy Sagitaran file-sharing site. It all just barely holds together.

Now, as for Starbuck, I think she’s a Linux girl. Rebellious, open source, eager to follow her own path to the truth. No one really knows what to make of her. Plus, I think I saw a little penguin tattoo somewhere on her arm…

By the way, if you caught last week’s episode of BSG, “No Exit”, then you saw the cameo by John Hodgman (PC in the “Get a Mac” ads) as a neurosurgeon tasked with removing a bullet from Cylon Anders’ brain. Kinda distracting, actually, seeing PC there right at the moment when Anders was streaming all of this long-awaited information about everything.

– Nigel Matrix

Posted in New BSG, Television Parodies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

The Apple Store, Bespin Mall

Posted by gregchiaramonti on January 6, 2009

The Apple Store, Bespin Mall

Enraged Cybernaut Bemoans Latest Technology

Ah, Lobot. Short for lobotomy? They say (in the Expanded Universe) that Lobot was some kind of criminal at one time, and he eventually wound up as an “indentured servant” to the administration of Cloud City. Forced to have cyber implants installed on his head and take orders directly into his brain, Lobot supposedly was a mute by that point. Oh well, I don’t really follow the EU much… seems like Lucas doesn’t really, either. If I recall correctly, in Episode III, there are some pilots wearing implants similar to Lobot’s on the Tantive IV – the familiar Blockade Runner, an Alderaanian vessel of Senator Organa. So would such a peaceful, highly democratic, poster-child-of-the-Rebellion planet such as Alderaan allow indentured servitude to exist? Hmm…

Oh well, mute or not, in the case of this comic, Lobot has reason to scream over the never-ending march of technology. Maybe he can get a refund if he writes to Steve Jabba of Apple Intergalactic, Inc.

– Nigel Matrix

Posted in Movie Parodies, Star Wars | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »