Stupidfuture: Obscure Sci-Fi Parodies

Those who fear the future are largely afraid to laugh at it….

Posts Tagged ‘BSG’

BSG Finale: Cavil Orders Pizza

Posted by gregchiaramonti on March 24, 2009

BSG Finale: Cavil Orders Pizza

Well, it’s finally over. Somewhat. Still another two-hour special, and then a new prequel series about some fembots or something. I thought the big finale, “Daybreak 1 & 2” was pretty cool. It definitely tied up things on an emotional level, and the action was great. The (spoilerz here, yo) Galactica ramming the Cylon Colony/Retirement Home for Active Classic Centurions was pretty awesome. Very Star Blazers-ish. And then Cavil entering the Galactica with Centurions was so “Vader boarding the Blockade Runner-ish”, I kept expecting Gaius Baltar to be sporting one of those silver streamlined bike helmets like the Rebel troops.

Cavil making the call on the phone to end the war just cracked me up completely. I mean, how did they know how to “patch him through” to the Cylon Colony? Is the phone number listed? Does the Cylon on the other end just trust that it’s really Cavil calling on some old corded analog phone from Galactica? Just thought it was a real WTF moment.

I like how Starbuck says “There must be some kind of way out of here” before she enters the All Along the Watchtower note number coordinates into the FTL computer. Those are actually lyrics from the song… cool.

As far as all of the mystical stuff, I think it was left open enough to interpret as either God or maybe just a more highly evolved entity running the show, hanging out with Head Six and Head Baltar, temporarily resurrecting Starbuck and so on. Maybe this same entity had seeded many worlds with similar, compatible life. Still, though, a lot of holes in the final resolution there, when you really think about evolution – not just biological, but cultural/languages, etc. And, really, all of those starships into the Sun? Just using them for scrap metal and shelter in the least would have made more sense. Oh well, it was a neat image, and the original 70’s fanfare in that scene was nice.

Thought they came very close to breaking the “fourth wall” in that last scene in NYC, with the awkward cameo of producer Ron Moore and Head Six and Head Baltar wandering about on holiday.

Overall, I enjoyed the ending and glad to see that the show didn’t just continue on forever and then fade away without resolution.

So say me, y’all…

– Nigel Matrix

Posted in Battlestar Galactica, New BSG, Television Parodies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The new self-help fad sweeping the Galaxy.

Posted by gregchiaramonti on February 27, 2009

The new self-help fad sweeping the Galaxy: Secrets of the Glaive.

Celebrity Speaker Extolls Virtues of Arcane Weaponry As Motivational Metaphor

May the Glaive be with you. Always. You know you’ve tried to use The Force. C’mon, just admit it. Reached out your hand and focused with all of your might on lifting your toy X-Wing out of a muddy puddle in the backyard when no one was looking. The Glaive, a cross between a boomerang, shuriken and a pocket knife/switchblade, was a unique weapon wielded by Colwyn, the Errol-Flynn-meets-Luke-Skywalker King of planet Krull, using Force-like techniques to control it.

Krull, the fantasy/sci-fi movie from 1983, always seemed like one part Star Wars, one part Lord of the Rings (though, I guess back then I wouldn’t have made the LOTR reference. Maybe more like classic Robin Hood films – not the Kevin Costner/Bryan Adams chickflick). You know, Hero’s Journey/Joseph Campbell stuff. Or maybe they just copped that medieval episode from classic Galactica (the one where Starbuck teaches all of those blonde pre-Narnia kids how to storm a castle while singing a song to remember their strategy). Hey, come to think of it, The Empire Strikes Back was sort of like the Ice Planet Zero BSG episode (man, those Oliva Newton-John wannabe clones were glacier-melting hot). Not sure which came first in that case, and too lazy to Wiki it today. And that whole Firefly series was kinda like the cowboy Galactica episode (Red Eye the cylon RULED!). Hey, it’s all good – it just always made sense that EVERY sci-fi franchise should have an ice planet episode, a western-in-space episode, a medieval-in-space episode, etc. It’s just what you do.

Watching Krull again recently, I realized how all of the various situations that test Colwyn in his quest to save Princess Lyssa from the evil Beast could be translated into a self-help program encouraging positive thinking, building confidence, etc. Colwyn is just such a hyper-positive dude. In the end, when your Glaive is stuck in the flesh of the hideous Beast and you can’t get it back, you’ve got to trust in yourself. Though there’s also that special fire the Princess gave you – you know, the fire that you can shoot out of your hand. That always helps, too.

– Nigel Matrix

Posted in Krull, Movie Parodies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Cylon vs. PC

Posted by gregchiaramonti on February 22, 2009

Cylon vs. PC

I think Cylons evolved from Macs. They seem to have the whole “cool design” theme going. Plus centralized development and implementation of software and hardware that is designed to work together seamlessly. The inside of their basestars have that minimalist, modern Apple Store look. The Cylons also have built-in iTunes so they can download their favorite versions of old Jimi Hendrix tunes directly into their minds (yeah, Jimi was a Cylon, too).

Galactica and the fleet, on the other hand, are probably running on ancient Windows machines and patched-together third-party software, downloaded for free off of some seedy Sagitaran file-sharing site. It all just barely holds together.

Now, as for Starbuck, I think she’s a Linux girl. Rebellious, open source, eager to follow her own path to the truth. No one really knows what to make of her. Plus, I think I saw a little penguin tattoo somewhere on her arm…

By the way, if you caught last week’s episode of BSG, “No Exit”, then you saw the cameo by John Hodgman (PC in the “Get a Mac” ads) as a neurosurgeon tasked with removing a bullet from Cylon Anders’ brain. Kinda distracting, actually, seeing PC there right at the moment when Anders was streaming all of this long-awaited information about everything.

– Nigel Matrix

Posted in New BSG, Television Parodies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »