Stupidfuture: Obscure Sci-Fi Parodies

Those who fear the future are largely afraid to laugh at it….

Posts Tagged ‘Knight Rider’

Cash For Clunkers: Knight Rider

Posted by stupidfuture on November 7, 2009


American V8 Muscle Car with Onboard AI Provides Generous Tax Incentive

Michael Knight, A Shadowy Figure on a Lone Crusade to buy a new car.  What with those crazy gas prices last year, he probably can’t afford to drive a V8 gas-guzzler…enter the government’s Cash For Clunkers program.  You can trade in your ancient petro-gulping behemouth of a TransAm for some inconsequential little conveyance like a Cooper Mini or Honda Civic Hybrid.  The leather jacket might be a bit of a stretch, then, Mr. Knight.  And please button up your pink shirt just a few more buttons…I can’t stand the sight of all that greying chest hair in that perpetual sunset you always seem to be driving around in.  And if you see those Dukes of Hazzard boys with that bright orange monstrosity of theirs, the General Lee, please send it our way.

BTW, in case you hadn’t noticed, they’re re-making Knight Rider again.  This time it’s supposed to be Michael Knight’s son.  Last time, it was “Team Knight Rider”, with five different AI vehicles, and before that, “Knight Rider 2000”.  You just aren’t going to capture the success of the original show.  And most cars have computers in them now anyways, it’s not such a big deal anymore.  (Still no video-capable wrist watches, though, I’ll give Glenn Larson that much.) It’s the Knight Industries Three Thousand this time, which sounds cool except that KR2K used the Knight Industries Four Thousand.  But “KIFT” sounds dorky, and reminds us of Amy’s boyfriend from Futurama.  No one ever listens to me about how to make a proper sequel, but here goes: resurrect KITT’s twice-kilt brother KARR (the Knight Automated Roving Robot), and let George Takai drive it.  Nuff said.

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Jeff Albertson Weighs In

Posted by stupidfuture on July 10, 2009


Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse than “Windows Mojave”, the ultimate rebrand FAIL arrives: Syfy.  No, it’s not a disease you get from an unsanitized telephone, it’s the new name for the “Channel Formerly Known As The Sci-Fi Network” (CFKATSN–Kiff Katson to you and me).  Maybe it would have been better if they had changed their name to an unpronounceable symbol.  That worked for Prince.  For a while. 

It just seems as if at the height of their popularity–everyone was talking about Battlestar Galactica Nuevo just a few short months ago…they are just giving up the concept that made them important.  If they don’t want to be Sci-Fi anymore, what’s the point?  (Kinda like when MTV stopped playing videos, right?)  Well, I’m sure they do, but they just want to do other stuff, too.  Like when Happy Days made Fonzie jump the shark because hanging out at Pat Morita’s Grill and learning Kara-te was not enough.  (“Fonzie…first paint fence, then jump shark.”)  Or when DragonTales added Enrique to the mix.  Or when Dora the Explorer became a Princess instead of a Scientist.  Or when KITT got “Super Pursuit Mode” on Knight Rider.  If it works and people like it, they depend on it…don’t change it because you think they’re bored…you’ll alienate them.  But no one ever learns this.  It just happens all the time.    Well, we can only shake our heads sadly and move on.  To paraphrase Jeff Albertson, better known as “Comic Book Guy” on The Simpsons…Worst.  Rebrand.  Ever.


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