Stupidfuture: Obscure Sci-Fi Parodies

Those who fear the future are largely afraid to laugh at it….

Archive for the ‘Logan's Run’ Category

Lastday. Carousel Begins.

Posted by stupidfuture on June 4, 2009


Carousel is the mother of all spectator sports.  The participants don’t really have a chance, but still, it’s better than getting disintegrated just because some war computer on planet Eminiar (Star Trek: TOS) has declared you a casualty.  Life is perfect until age 30, when your metabolism craps out, and you get all tired and fat.  Err, no, wait, that’s our world.  In the world of Logan’s Run, you put on a stupid mask that would make Jason Vorhees proud, and then you fly up into the air and blow up.   Or, you can run away, avoid every Sandman you see (they terminate runners–“Exit niiiiiigggghhhtttt…you’re off to never-never land….” ) and maybe Box, the insane refrigerator robot, will freeze you all up just before you get outside to the impossibly ivy-covered US Capitol, where a nameless old man hangs out with cats.

Or just maybe, in a slightly better (but still stupid) future, your head would explode into broccoli instead.  Then the lifeclock–the crystal implanted in your hand to show what stage you’re at–might be a bit different.  Still, you have to love Logan’s Run, it gave the department of redundancy department food for thought with its innane Sandman taunt: “Run, runner!”.   Shop, shopper!  Eat, eater!  Wash Your Car, You Car Washing Person!  Well, about the runners: either someone’s little strip of carpet, or someone’s stockings are in trouble…makes you feel for the broccoli option.  Explode Into Broccoli, Exploder Into Broccoli Person!

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