Business Text Proves Useful In Negotiating Armageddon
Denzel Washington survives the End of the World in the new movie The Book of Eli and spends all his time carrying around a Bible. Okay, fine, there’s probably some really good stuff in there you might want, though I’d probably stick around the book of Exodus, where all the major butt-kicking occurs. Because let’s face it, there’s never a nice post-Apocalyptic society. You need Old Testment kinda stuff to make sense of a destroyed landscape where it’s hard to find food. But I’d much rather have, say, The Book Scout Handbook or The Army Survival Manual. Stuff that tells you how to catch a bear and which berries will give you a rash. Boo-yah.
But really, really what I’d want is something tailored exactly to the situation. Like Stephen Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, but revised for the situation, to be The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Post-Apocalyptic Warriors. (Habit #1: Always wear sunglasses.) As long as they don’t mention the word “synergy”. No matter what color your parachute is, or who moved your cheese, the only time you should ever use the word “synergy” is when you’re talking about Jem and The Holograms. Which was, of course, truly outrageous.
Interestingly enough, one of Covey’s actual “7 Habits” is “Begin with the End in Mind.” Truer words have never been written for the Mad Max set.
Stupidfuture: Obscure Sci-Fi Parodies 