It’s a well-known fact in Star Wars fandom that the Mos Eisley Cantina Band only knows one song. When they kick back and relax after work, safely at home after a long day of weirdos such as Greedo, Walrus Man, and Han Solo shooting and chopping up the customers at their only steady gig, what better way than with Rock Band? Of course, the standard Fender Strat controller isn’t compatable. You have to get the special Bassoon–O-Phone controllers to play it. They’d better score some overdrive soon, or else that blue elephant-man Max Rebo and his weirdo stalk-lipped blob singer Sy Snoodles will start stealing all the gigs.
But who are the Cantina band, and why did Wal-Mart release action figures of them? Only Wikipedia and the “extended universe” book sequels know for sure. According to the package for the action figures, the lead guy’s name is “Figrin D’an”. Hey, whatcha figurin’, Dan? He must always get stuck spliiting up the check for everyone. It’s a dumb name, alright. Even if we leave questions unanswered (like what kind of ring would you make from a fig, exactly?), it really sounds like figurine, which might exactly be why they decided to release D’an and friends as action figures. Maybe it’s a tribute to George Lucas’ own genius in keeping the merchandising rights to the franchise. The rest of the band is called “The Modal Nodes”, which is actually a weird music theory joke based on medieval composition techniques. So, we can safely leave that aside. And…moving right along….
Don’t look for Rock Band: Mos Eisley anytime soon. You’ll just have to make due with Rock Band: The Beatles, Rock Band: Unplugged, Guitar Hero: Metallica, and new track packs being released for Rock Band–Unplugged, Metal, and Classic Rock. More Boston and Rush, yay. No Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes. Get over it already.
Stupidfuture: Obscure Sci-Fi Parodies 