Capillary dilation or the so-called blush response… fluctuation of the pupil, involuntary dilation of the iris…. Um… Do you like our owl? Sorry, somehow all of the anticipation for the new Apple Tablet (or iPad, or iSlate, or Canvas, or Electronic Messiah) has put me in a Blade Runner mood. Just thought it would be cool if the new tablet has a Voight-Kampff app so you could detect Replicants on-the-go. You’d still need the retro bellows as an accessory (think it has something to do with detecting pheromones of an emotional response), but it’s a lot more portable than that CRT monitor setup Deckard has to usually lug around. Oh, wait… Replicants haven’t been invented yet, right.
Still, the tablet is gonna rock… whatever it does. I mean, I’m a big-time Apple fanboy, but even I’ve been worn out from all the hype and speculation about this thing. Please, Steve, let it go… release it to us… we are ready to finally have this futuristic sci-fi device that we always see in every sci-fi movie ever made. I know, there are other tablet computers announced by other companies, and the Kindle is a specialized book-reading tablet, but Mr. Jobs always seems to have an eye for details other designers miss, just a knack for innovation that takes things to the next level. Yeah, I know, I’m a hopeless Apple fanboy…
– Nigel Matrix
Stupidfuture: Obscure Sci-Fi Parodies 