Cash For Clunkers: Knight Rider

American V8 Muscle Car with Onboard AI Provides Generous Tax Incentive

Michael Knight, A Shadowy Figure on a Lone Crusade to buy a new car.  What with those crazy gas prices last year, he probably can’t afford to drive a V8 gas-guzzler…enter the government’s Cash For Clunkers program.  You can trade in your ancient petro-gulping behemouth of a TransAm for some inconsequential little conveyance like a Cooper Mini or Honda Civic Hybrid.  The leather jacket might be a bit of a stretch, then, Mr. Knight.  And please button up your pink shirt just a few more buttons…I can’t stand the sight of all that greying chest hair in that perpetual sunset you always seem to be driving around in.  And if you see those Dukes of Hazzard boys with that bright orange monstrosity of theirs, the General Lee, please send it our way.

BTW, in case you hadn’t noticed, they’re re-making Knight Rider again.  This time it’s supposed to be Michael Knight’s son.  Last time, it was “Team Knight Rider”, with five different AI vehicles, and before that, “Knight Rider 2000”.  You just aren’t going to capture the success of the original show.  And most cars have computers in them now anyways, it’s not such a big deal anymore.  (Still no video-capable wrist watches, though, I’ll give Glenn Larson that much.) It’s the Knight Industries Three Thousand this time, which sounds cool except that KR2K used the Knight Industries Four Thousand.  But “KIFT” sounds dorky, and reminds us of Amy’s boyfriend from Futurama.  No one ever listens to me about how to make a proper sequel, but here goes: resurrect KITT’s twice-kilt brother KARR (the Knight Automated Roving Robot), and let George Takai drive it.  Nuff said.