Stupidfuture: Obscure Sci-Fi Parodies

Those who fear the future are largely afraid to laugh at it….

Posts Tagged ‘chili dog’

Man v. Food v. Vampires

Posted by stupidfuture on February 26, 2010

Man v. Food

Garlic Gluttony Proves Adequate Defense Against Undead

Gluttony as spectacle.  It’s often painful to watch the Travel Channel’s Adam Richman eat some new combination of hamburgers, hot dogs, pizza, cheese, bacon, chili, hot peppers, mozz sticks or whatever, by the pound.  After all, there are only so many possible combinations of the unhealthiest foods that can possibly be put together.  He travels around the country looking for some minor variation of the above that he hasn’t yet encountered.  It’s slightly more interesting when he eats the spiciest hot wings, and turns scarlet.  But mostly, it’s just ordinary junk food, combined in some way that’s slightly different from the last time, and guzzled to the beat of a timer.

In order to make things slightly more interesting, we suggest that a new variation be included: the undead.  Specifically, vampires.  Man fights food, food fights vampires.  Taking a cue from modern literary reworkings such as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, if Richman cannot consume six pounds of garlic cloves in the allotted half an hour, the Nosferatu get to eat him instead.  Perhaps it might help to clear all that meat residue out of his system.  Garlic is good for you.  But bad for vampires.  Remember, as The Phantom Menace taught us, there’s always something with more teeth than you.  Maybe it’s time someone was looking over Richman’s shoulder, waiting for the timer, hoping to earn the I Finished All Of Adam Richman tee shirt.

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