You KNOW it’s a Myth: Special Edition

Just riffing on that Atheist billboard that went up near the Lincoln Tunnel recently. Now, I’m mostly Agnostic myself, probably still a bit Catholic by default (raised that way, had to suffer through CCD classes and all dat), and sort of Buddhist-lite (hey, I read all of the Dalai Lama’s books and REALLY like the movie Seven Years in Tibet). However, even a relatively non-religious person such as myself doesn’t think it’s a particularly wise idea to start questioning matters of faith in the moments before entering an aging Tunnel infrastructure under the Hudson River…

Also, I don’t mean to offend any believers in Jediism with this comic. I mean, I guess theoretically, God or “The Force” could be literally speaking through the creative vision of George Lucas and relaying a true story about events from a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away – right? (Ha… that’s sure to cause a stir amongst the anti-prequel crowd). And, well, an official Jedi Religion does sound pretty cool, actually. Really. Is there a New Jersey chapter? Hmm…

The new self-help fad sweeping the Galaxy.

Celebrity Speaker Extolls Virtues of Arcane Weaponry As Motivational Metaphor

May the Glaive be with you. Always. You know you’ve tried to use The Force. C’mon, just admit it. Reached out your hand and focused with all of your might on lifting your toy X-Wing out of a muddy puddle in the backyard when no one was looking. The Glaive, a cross between a boomerang, shuriken and a pocket knife/switchblade, was a unique weapon wielded by Colwyn, the Errol-Flynn-meets-Luke-Skywalker King of planet Krull, using Force-like techniques to control it.

Krull, the fantasy/sci-fi movie from 1983, always seemed like one part Star Wars, one part Lord of the Rings (though, I guess back then I wouldn’t have made the LOTR reference. Maybe more like classic Robin Hood films – not the Kevin Costner/Bryan Adams chickflick). You know, Hero’s Journey/Joseph Campbell stuff. Or maybe they just copped that medieval episode from classic Galactica (the one where Starbuck teaches all of those blonde pre-Narnia kids how to storm a castle while singing a song to remember their strategy). Hey, come to think of it, The Empire Strikes Back was sort of like the Ice Planet Zero BSG episode (man, those Oliva Newton-John wannabe clones were glacier-melting hot). Not sure which came first in that case, and too lazy to Wiki it today. And that whole Firefly series was kinda like the cowboy Galactica episode (Red Eye the cylon RULED!). Hey, it’s all good – it just always made sense that EVERY sci-fi franchise should have an ice planet episode, a western-in-space episode, a medieval-in-space episode, etc. It’s just what you do.

Watching Krull again recently, I realized how all of the various situations that test Colwyn in his quest to save Princess Lyssa from the evil Beast could be translated into a self-help program encouraging positive thinking, building confidence, etc. Colwyn is just such a hyper-positive dude. In the end, when your Glaive is stuck in the flesh of the hideous Beast and you can’t get it back, you’ve got to trust in yourself. Though there’s also that special fire the Princess gave you – you know, the fire that you can shoot out of your hand. That always helps, too.

– Nigel Matrix